Stop! In The Name of Love

This is going to be a shock for some long-time readers of this blog, but the truth be told, Jack suffers from a terrible addiction: postourinophilia. As a side effect, he developed residential obsessive-compulsive P syndome with acute condition manifestations escalated in the fall 2008 and worsened over the winter months.

For those of you without a PHD (and other smart abbreviations in your title), I'm translating: Jack had decided that his home was now also his toilet, specifically the area around the post in the canine quarters. Strangely, the humans were not thrilled about it: Jack overheard them saying something about the odor, the carpet, the issue, etc...More and more often Jack was seeing a strange blue light being cast on the floor and the other house pet -- an animal they call Hoover SteamVac -- was let out to noisily romp around the floor. The post at times was wrapped in foil, plastic bags, sprayed with nasty stuff, etc. They put some white pads around the post and Jack diligently peed over them every time, but Momy got upset no matter what costume de jeur was on the post.

So, she took Jack to a new woman (talk about abbreviations ... CPDT, CABC, certified this certified that) who gave him a treat hidden in the red rubber toy. She also had a closet with noises and neat fox toy on a stick. There was some decent treat tasting, but lot's of staring and writing something on the paper. The certified woman and Mommy had a lengthy discussion about Jack while he tried to get the damn treats out of the silly red thingie (why do they call it a toy? "Torture" is a more appropriate term..)

Anyway, the story goes that apparently the problem is with the mean sis Tais that has her aging thing with occasional incontinence that triggers Jack's natural response of urination in unison. Then there is some minor separation anxiety, high stress, but they most intersting thing is that Jack initial house-training as a puppy was simply wrong: he probably was severely scorned at urinating inside the house so that instead of learning that urinating is good--just not in the house, he learned that urinating in front of a human is bad. That explains his inability to "go" while on the leash, and always finding a hidden corner of the backyard for doing his business, and not linking the house soiling with a wrong thing to do, as long as he is not in sight of his Mommy.

Bottom line, Jack is now supposed to do a course of re-training, like some adolescent pup...Unspeakable!! Here is a sampler of tasks that otherwise nice woman left with Mommy:

1. Increase environmental enrichment with a few tecnniques.
2. Have Jack earn everything by making him follow a command first.
3. Implement strict house training program,that includes replacing the old carpet, confining Jack to a dog proofed area and hiring mid-day dog walker, etc, etc,etc.

Oh, yea, and a vist to a vet was recommended to rule out the UTI possibility.

What went wrong? Why all this? How can Jack now survive? Mommy seems pretty determined now, when she has a plan from this certified woman. This is going to be no good for some long time....Poor Jack...At least he got that red thing emptied of the treats. Too bad he couldn't rip it apart!